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Wednesday, August 18th, 2010Something up there is not digesting.
The wooden saint gave him no ready answer. Pap. Sifting out chaff. Sometimes his mind worked in
snatches. It was better to let it work that way when the cramps came and the world weighed heavily upon him.
What did the world weigh? It weighs, but is not weighed. Sometimes its scales are crooked. It weighs life and
labor in the balance against silver and gold. That’ll never balance. But fast and ruthless, it keeps on weighing. It
spills a lot of life that way, and some times a little gold. And blindfolded, a king comes riding across the desert,
with a set of crooked scales, a pair of loaded dice. .And upon the flags emblazoned?aVexilla regis . . .
“No!” the abbot grunted, suppressing the vision.
But of course! the saint’s wooden smile seemed to insist.
Dom Paulo averted his eyes from the image with a slight shudder. Sometimes be felt that the saint was
laughing at him. Do they laugh at us in Heaven? he wondered. Saint Maisie of York herself?aremember her, old
man?ashe died of a laughing fit. That’s different. She died laughing at herself.
No, that’s at s not so different either. Ulp! The silent belch again. Tuesday’s Saint Maisie’s feast day,
forsooth. Choir laughs reverently at the Alleluia of her Mass. “Alleluia ha ha! Alleluia he ho!”
Sancta Maisie, interride pro me.”
And the king was coming to weigh books in the basement with his pair of crooked scales. How “crooked,”
Paulo? And what makes you think the Memorabilia is completely free of pap? Even the gifted and Venerable
Boedullus once remarked scornfully that about half of it should be called the Inscrutabilia. Treasured fragments
of a dead civilization there were indeed?abut how much of it has been reduced to gibberish, embellished with
olive leaves and cherubims, by forty generations of us monastic ignoramuses,forza 3 credits, children of dark centuries, many,
entrusted by adults with an incomprehensible message, to be memorized and delivered to other adults.
I made him travel all the way from Texarkana through dangerous country, thought Paulo. Now I’m just
worrying that what we’ve got may prove worthless to him, that’s all.
But no,buy wow gold, that wasn’t all. He glanced at the smiling saint again. And again: Vexilla regis inferni prodeunt ….
Forth come the banners of the King of Hell,final fantasy gil, whispered a memory of that perverted line from an ancient
commedia. It nagged like an unwanted time in his thought.
The fist clenched tighter. He dropped the fan and breathed through his teeth. He avoided looking at the saint
again. The ruthless angel ambushed him with a hot burst at his corporeal core. He leaned over the desk. That one
had felt like a hot wire breaking. His hard breathing swept a clean spot in the film of desert dust on the desktop.
The smell of the dust was choking. The room went pink, swarmed with black gnats. I don’t dare belch, might
shake something loose?abut Holy Saint and Patron I’ve got to. Pain is. Ergo sum. Lord Christ God accept this
token.
He belched, tasted salt, let his head fall onto the desk.
Does the chalice have to be now right this very minute Lord or can I wait awhile? But crucifixion is always
now. Now ever since before Abraham even is always now. Before Pfardentrott even,buy rs money, now. Always for everybody
anyhow is to get nailed on it and then to hang on it and if you drop off they beat you to death with a shovel so do
it with dignity old man. If you can belch with dignity you may get to Heaven if you re sorry enough about
messing up the rug …. He felt very apologetic.
He waited a long time. Some of the gnats died and the room lost its blush but went hazy and gray.
